Pickin' & a Grinnin'

UPDATE (4/30): According to the WHO this is no joking matter. I'm dubious that 'all of humanity is under threat'. Let me know if any of you die and I'll re-consider the matter.

Roy: Say Buck!

Buck: Uh, yes Roy?

Roy: Uh, Buck...how come Pink Floyd was so prophetic?

Buck: I don't know, Roy. Why was Pink Floyd sooo prophetic?

Roy: Because long ago they predicted the Swine Flew. Ha haaaa

Buck: Charade you are, Roy.

Natural Wizardry

Hat tip to Dr. B for this one...

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

Now first, I don't believe for one moment this guy is an actual wizard. His wand is far too short. But there is something magical in the dichotomy of how the spectacle clashes with Mr. Wizard's claims of how beautiful 'it' is. In the words of Faith No More:

It's in your face

But you can't grab it

What is it?

It's IT

Word.

Next, Dr. B pointed out the plaintive cries against police tyranny from the crowd. If only Jesus had such stalwarts back in the day. Dr. B insightfully asks: "Does the tasering of a combative naked guy at a music festival equate to the police riot at the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention?" The only adjoinder I can offer is to point out the guy chastising the cops with "Freedom of speech, homes. Freedom of fuckin' speech."

Nudity is to speech as shit is to silverware, say I.

I guess it should also be noted that, while Naked Guy is always fun to see at any concert, he is always best seen from an absolute minimum distance of 20 paces. I wager real cash money (by fiat, not gold standard, natch) not a single one of these sympathetic souls wants Naked Guy dancing in their vicinity or moshing in the same pit when the music starts. Handshakes and water bottles aside, no one wants to know Naked Guy.

Finally, who was on the playbill at Coachella? Too many artists to count (>30 major & minor acts). Perry Farrell is apropos, as I suppose are the Ting Tings. But I didn't see Limp Bizket or Twiggy in the lineup. Anyways, after this episode the cops were probably looking for A Place to Bury Strangers...

In the words of Bernais to Count DeMonet:

"I don't like your cuffs, I don't like your cuffs. A man's cuffs

should be even with the tip of his 'pee-pee'. Yours hang all

the way down to your balls."

Think about it.

P.S. Henry Rollins - "spoken word artist". Really? I'd turn to drugs and try to shed my skin too.

Wait. What?

Things I don't believe:

* Perez Hilton is gay. C'mon, my gaydar is very good. This guy is straight for sure. Next thing you'll try to tell me is that Vin Diesel is bi. BTW: wouldn't it be hilarious if he had a lesbian sister? Dyke Diesel!

* New swine flu epidemic is a coincidence. They say a mutated virus jumped species, resulting in at least 7 recent US deaths. No way, it's an act of terrorism. I hate these Terrorist Pigs!

* Janeane Garofolo is a liberal. Dude, this chick is a plant. Not plant as in dumb flora, which she's obviously acting like. But a Republican mole to see how gullible people are into making liberals live up to stereotypes of disgruntled smelly hippies with an ax to grind with 'the man' insisting the CIA is responsible for every ill in the world while declaring anyone who doesn't agree is a racist, mentally ill, or Darth Vader. Aren't comedians supposed to be funny?

* A Facebook quiz I recently took called "How Black Are You?" Three out of 4 black acquaintances I know that took the quiz scored "white". The fourth scored "Tupac" but I know from personal experience he's clearly "Steve Urkel". By the way, yours truly rated as "Pharelle"...it's 'cause I talk to the movies at the theatre, isn't it?

* The solution to the global economic meltdown lies in providing more credit. I've been saying this since October, people are up to their eyeballs in debt they can't afford leveraged by distressed assets they don't need. Now 'they' want us to go deeper in the hole? BTW: Watch the credit card companies. They're next in line for the bailouts (if I default on a mortgage, the bank gets my house. But if I default on my credit card, the bank gets...uh, what? Dinners I already ate? Vacations I already took? That's why fees are so high folks).

* The NFL is worth following. Football played by criminals and egoists, managed by sharks and hostage takers, marketed by sycophants and drones; all nourished on endless riches and adulation. I'm pulling the plug on the Sunday ticket once and for all.

* Change you can believe in. O is the new W.