CNN Forecasts Doubt

Hey Chicken Littles!

More bad news from CNN.  Global warming is being challenged by one of the network's own meteorologists.  The good news is we're gonna die anyway.  So at least you got that going for you.

Key paragraph:

      You know, to think that we could affect weather all that much

      is pretty arrogant... Mother Nature is so big, the world is so

      big -- I think we're going to die from a lack of fresh water

      or... from ocean acidification before we die from global

      warming, for sure.

Well, isn't that comforting?  Like totally.

Friday Night Funnies

Looking for an uplifting story of how to find happiness in this dreary world?

Try Charlie the Unicorn meets the Banana King.  It's wonderful!  You'll be humming that song for weeks.

Seven Changeling Valkyries

 ** Spoiler Alert **

If you have any intention of seeing Changeling, Valkyrie, or Seven Pounds then read no further.

Is it me, or isn't the world depressing enough?  What with war, ever-present famine, presumed pending environmental calamity, epic economic collapse, geo-political uncertainty, and the winter blues kickin' hard just ahead of the dark solstice.  Now I can't even go to the movies to escape it all.

Five or six weeks ago I went to see Changeling, Clint Eastwood's too long visual masterpiece that, upon exit, imparts the viewer with a compelling desire to slit his own wrists.  You only wait that long because you're too busy retching in your seat in horror throughout the true (!) story.  If you have kids, or even like 'em a little bit, you can't just sit there and take it while:

• a working-class single mother comes home to find her only son missing.
  
• the police first dismiss her concern before excessively responding to the publicity of a child's kidnapping.
  
• the police return a child to the distraught mother who is not her boy, but browbeat her into taking him anyway.
• the mother is summarily thrown into the psych ward by a police captain who doesn't like the new publicity her protests are gleaning.
• a farm in the high desert is revealed to harbor a terrible & chilling history of child kidnap, torture, and murder - by ax, no less!
• trials take place to convict both the corrupt police and the serial killer from the farm.
• the serial killer is executed by hanging while the (STILL) lost boy's mother looks on.
• the mother gets on with her life after 4 or 5 years have transpired.
• the boy is never found -- dead or alive.

I think Clint's point in that final bullet is the mother never lost hope to find her son.  She might not have, but I certainly did.  By the way, any listener to the Jim Rome radio program oughta suggest replacing Mel Gibson's "Give me back my son!" bit with Angelina Jolie's "I want/Where is/This is not my son!"

Which brings us - at last! - to Seven Pounds and Valkyrie.  Just in time for Christmas.  Which has always been too syrupy sweet and just full of hope and light and life and all.  Forget all that bullshit in these troubled times!

Instead, how about another (allegedly) true story where Tom Cruise plays some kind of American-accented Nazi pirate who (like any good Tom Cruise character) after a period of self-doubt and thwarted success determines he needs to assassinate Adolf Hitler.  But then fails and is summarily executed in the end, along with several hundred co-conspirators and sympathizers.

Or Seven Pounds?  A movie marketed as some kind of feel-good man is on some quest to donate his organs to somehow worthy strangers before he dies.  Will Smith?  Hey, it's gotta be funny and heart-warming.  Sorry.

The reason for his death is not a terminal illness.  He's depressed over his responsibility in the deaths of seven people - including his wife/girlfriend/whatever - that occurred prior to the film's beginning.

So what does he do?  Seek treatment for depression?  Find family or friends at his door to intervene?  No, he decides to atone for this accident by committing suicide and donating his pieces-parts to the aforementioned worthy strangers.  And at the end of the film?  He kills himself.

Thank you, Hollywood!  You wonder why I'm not plunking down 10 clams on a regular basis?

Physician, heal thyself!  When you do, I'll be easy to find:  hunched in the fetal position with a stack of newpapers at the front door and reruns of Caddyshack or the ever-uplifting Scarface playing on the tube.

Not that I'll have ten bucks left to my name, mind you...

Random Thoughs

As if these posts weren't random enough:

Blago - Glad the Illinois Supreme Court denied the state attorney general's petition to summarily remove him from office.

The law cited is intended for governors incapacitated by illness or injury, not political malfeasance.  Would have set a dangerous precedence by opening the door to seek anyone's ouster for any reason.  And there's already an avenue -- true, a slower lane -- for firing the Gov.  Let the impeachment proceedings begin!

Hey, rules are rules.  It doesn't matter what people want "Right Now!".  Just a little concept known as due process.  That's why Obama has to wait 'til January 20th.  Deal with it people...

_____

Blago II - I've finally got it!  The guy looks just like a pompadoured illegitimate love-child of Tom Cruise and William H. Macy.  Study the linked photos and judge for yourself...

                        Macy  +  Cruise  =  Blago

_____

Madoff - Or as many commentators call him:  Made-off.  Let me get this straight.  I gotta feel sorry for wealthy investors who plunked down $1 million minimums -- and quite often the entire family fortune -- to buy into a super-secret formula to guarantee annual double-digit return rates?

Aren't wealthy investors supposed to be smart enough to diversify their portfolios?  Haven't they read investment primers that repeatedly stress the concept of risk vs. reward?  How even 10% is considered aggressive & risky; unsustainable?  Besides, you are (were) already millionaires!  You wanted more?!?

Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.  So F. U.  And pass the bacon.

_____

Oil Prices - Have hit $40 / barrel, dropping more than $100 from their peak 4-1/2 short months ago.  Just in time to save the economy. Ecology can wait.  Again.

_____

Auto Bailout - The U.S. auto industry needs a bailout to stave off bankruptcy and save upwards of 3 million domestic jobs.  Where was the help when the home electronics industry liquidated domestic TV & stereo production 30 years ago?  Or when steel manufacturing fell to foreign competition 20 years ago?  Or appliance makers exited the country wholesale 10 years ago?

But somehow automotive is too big and entwined with the whole economy to be allowed to fail.  Hey, we're not addicted to oil!  We're addicted to car production.  It's just the cars that are addicted to oil.

At least we still have fast food and financial services.  Those are working out great for our, um, collective health.

_____

Global Warming - Last week Houston got hammered with winter weather.  Then New Orleans a day later.  Today it's Las Vegas' turn in the snow globe.  Now what are the odds of that?  All you Chicken Littles can keep saying the sky is falling.  Hmm, I guess it is.  It's called snow.

_____

Buffalo Bills - err, I mean Ralph Wilson's ultimate 401(k) plan.  A personal retirement ATM that spits oceans of cash taken from poor & dumb slobs who'd rather paint their naked chests in red and blue paint, booze like vikings, and publicly have their hearts ripped from their chests and stomped upon again and again and again.

To be liquidated upon his death (we're still talking about Wilson's pension here) with proceeds to be distributed to his heirs.  Which don't include the people of Buffalo.

_____

Enjoy the weekend folks!    (Oh wait, it's only Thursday...)

Illinois - Scarface Edition

Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich:    Hello Barack!  Congratulations again on your win.

Presumptive White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel:    Good morning, Governor.  The President-elect couldn't speak with you today.  He's very busy with some folks from Detroit.

Blagoface:  You know what?  Fuck you!  How about that?

Emanuel:   Listen Blago, I just want to make clear we appreciate your considering our preferred candidate to replace Senator Obama.

Blagoface:  In this country, you gotta make the money first.  Then when you get the money, you get the power.  Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Emanuel:   She's a good woman.  Call her, uh, "Candidate #1".  She'd make a good senator.

Blagoface:  You want to give me the cash, or do I kill your brother first, before I kill you?

Emanuel:   Why don't you try sticking your head up your ass?  See if it fits.

Blagoface:  I got ears, ya know.  I hear things.

Emanuel:   Yeah?  What do you hear about George Ryan and the Jackson family?  What about them?  What about Eliot Spitzer?  What is he gonna do when you start moving 2000 keys?

Blagoface:  Fuck Eliot Spitzer!  And fuck the fuckin' Jackson family! Fuck 'em all!  I bury those cockroaches!

Emanuel:   What about homosexuality, Rod?  You like men, huh?  You like to dress up like a woman?

Blagoface:  I never fucked anybody in my life didn't have it coming to them.  You got that?  All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.  Do you understand?  That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him.  For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Harris killed.  But that's history.  I'm here, he's not.  Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move.

Emanuel:   Here pelican, pelican, pelican...

Blagoface:  Look at that!  A junkie.  I got a junkie for a wife.  Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fucking little baby with her!

Elvira Blagoface:    Can't you see what we're becoming, Rod?  We're losers.  We're not winners, we're losers.

Blagoface:  You know what your problem is?

Elvira:        What's that?

Blagoface:  You don't got nothing to do with your life.  Why don't you get a job?  Work with lepers.  Blind kids.  Anything's gotta be better than lying around all day waiting for me to fuck you.

Elvira:        Don't toot your horn, honey.  You're not that good.

Blagoface:  Go home.  You're stoned.

Emanuel:   So you want a job for your wife too?

Blagoface:  Okay.  Fuck you.  How's that?

Emanuel:   Fuck you.

Blagoface:  Fuck You!

Emanuel:   I don't have to listen to this bullshit!

Blagoface:  You wanna work eight, ten fucking hours?  You own nothing, you got nothing!  Do you want a chivato on every corner looking after you?  Watching everything you do?  Everything you say, man?  Do you know I eat octopus three times a day?  I got fucking octopus coming out of my fucking ears.  I got the fuckin' Russian shoes my feet's comin' through.  How you like that?  What, you want me to stay there and do nothing?  Hey, I'm no fuckin' criminal, man.  I'm no puta or thief.  I'm Rod Blagojevich, a political prisoner from Chicago. And I want my fuckin' human rights, now!

[Slams desk]  Just like the President Barack Obama says.  Okay?

Emanuel:  Obama should see this human right.  He's really good. What do you say Fitzgerald?

US Attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald:    Get him outta here!

Side Two

Side 2, Track 1 - "Here Comes Satan's Claws (right down Satan Claws Lane)"

Track 2              - "Trippin' in a Winter Wonderland"

Track 3              - "Fuck You, Baby"

Track 4              - "I Predict a Riot"

Track 5              - "Frosty the Asshole"

Inappropriate Christmas Carols

Here's the album so far:

Side 1, track 1 -  "I saw Mommy Banging Santa Claus"

Track 2 -             "I'm Dreaming of Dorea Holmes"

Track 3 -             edited - too controversial (right, Dr. B?)

Track 4 -             "Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer"

Track 5 -             "Carol of the Balls"

Any idea from the peanut gallery?

Every Sentence in my Head...

I don't consider myself a very original thinker.  That's why I'm pretty proud of the scribbles on this blog.  Pretty much everything that isn't credited or obviously ripped off is my own ranting & raving.

You should easily notice when I quote someone else.  Most times I directly cite the author and/or provide a link to the original work. Other times, I'll sign the quote as the artist (ie. "Pete" for Pete Townshend or "Bruce" for Bruce Springsteen, etc).

In a few cases, I have quoted without citation.  That's due to my perception that my audience is small (to be sure, counted on one hand) and solid belief you know where my material comes from.

It won't happen again.

"Why," you ask?  Here's all the reason anyone needs.

Cops - Calgary Edition

(it's really from a Midas commercial)

Growin' Up

I took month-long vacations in the stratosphere

   and you know it's really hard to hold your breath

I swear I lost everything I ever loved or feared

   I was the cosmic kid in full costume dress

Well, my feet they finally took root in the earth

   but I got me a nice little place in the stars

And I swear I found the key to the universe

   in the engine of an old parked car

I hid in the mother breast of the crowd

   but when they said "Pull Down" I pulled up

   - Bruce

Didn't Mean to Bug You

I know what you're thinking.  At least it sure seems that way.

     Down down, you bring me down

     I hear you knocking at my door and I can't sleep at night

     Your face, it has no place

     No room for you inside my house I need to be alone

     Don't waste your words, I don't need anything from you

     I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do

     - "I Am the Resurrection", The Stone Roses (1989)

Where have you gone?

Time Gone By: Chinese Democracy

     I've been sittin' here

        just wastin' time.

     Drinking, smoking, thinking

        trying to free my mind.

     - "Wasting Time", Kid Rock (1998)

Well Axl Rose needed way more than a couple months in that smoky room.  17 years to be exact.  That's how long it took to develop and produce Guns N' Roses' new album, "Chinese Democracy".

Overall it's a catchy record.  A hard rocking title track kicks things off.  And rock it does!  One of the best lead-off songs I've heard.  An okay industrial banger called "Shackler's Revenge" fills the #2 slot. "Better", a solid pop metal tune, follows... and is better than "Revenge".  Batting cleanup is a kick-ass power ballad named "Street of Dreams", showcasing everything you'd ever want from Axl Rose. The rest of the disc streams in similar fashion.

Production quality is excellent.  The sounds are layered, yet clean. Rhythms vary from simple to complex, but remain groovy and natural. Great diversity of tones, instruments and volumes too. There's cohesiveness throughout.

On another level though, I'm struck by a sense of deja vu.  It's like Axl - holed up in his studio for the better part of two decades - picked up every cool lick and technique of the era and incorporated them into this record.  The piano in "Street of Dreams" sounds exactly like a Queen tune from 1984.

"Better" has a distinct Linkin Park feel, alternating between a syrupy chorus and a growling metal verse.  "If The World" at #5 contains a cool bluesy groove, but a Spanish guitar intro seemingly pulled from the opening to "Hotel California" unplugged.  Track #6, an instrumental titled "There Was A Time", has an old school Metallica vibe with a touch of Neil Young and Erasure for balance.  And I definitely flashed back to Rob Zombie's "Dragula" during "Shackler's Revenge" - truly not sure if that's good or bad.

Sonically, I'm more partial to this album than large swaths of the Use Your Illusions.  That's thanks to masterful engineering and a much tighter set list.  Of course, after 17 freakin' years you should have time to figure those things out.  But I'm not inclined to rank ChiDem up with such masterpieces as the "White Album", "A Night at the Opera" or "The Joshua Tree" let alone "Appetite for Destruction".

Then again, maybe I should just shut up and rock.  It's solid enough to enjoy.

Bottom line:  B+ for hard rock, outstanding production, and a decided stick-to-it-tiveness.  Demerits for derivative elements and too frequent pits of easy listening.

     Time fills the pages

     Turn the page

     Time will not stop

     It will have its way on you

     - "Time Gone By", Izzy Stradlin (1992)

Of False Expectations & GI Joe

"Chew the backbone, a solar system, these clever convicts"

     - Kasabian

Nearly 8 weeks ago, I railed on the U.S. Congressional bailout plan designed to mitigate the burgeoning economic meltdown.  Then, it was the financial titans seeking salvation from their reckless lending and byzantine derivative portfolios.

Today, it's the auto industry with hands out crying poverty while eschewing even 1st class commercial.  Does anyone else see the irony of an auto exec flying anywhere, private or otherwise?  Those guys ought to have arrived on Capitol Hill in stretch Hummers  and bitchin' Cameros with at least a dozen speeding tickets on the 8 hour drive from Detroit.

That fact alone qualifies the Big 3 for Chapter 11, not a federal handout.

Another problem with government intervention is the false expectation that everything would be solved; "all trouble gone blub blub blub," quoth Leslie Neilson.

Seven weeks ago, our feckless leaders granted one man -- Treasury Secretary Henry "Hank" Paulson -- control of more than $700 Billion dollars; money to be spent in any way he saw fit in pursuit of economic stability and restored investor/consumer/commercial confidence.  No dice.

Consider:

• Since Oct 1st, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has shed 30%. Yesterday, it broke through the 8,000 floor of resistance and looks to test 7,000 in coming days.  Ditto the Nasdaq, S&P, Nikkei, Hang Seng, FTSE, CAC-40, DAX, Bovespa, Merval, and Jakarta Composite.
• All sectors of the global economy are plummeting:  Banking, Media, Automotive, Industrial, Technology, Retail... you name it.  Auto sales practically do not exist. Advertising is worthless. Orders have been canceled like falling dominoes throughout the global supply chain.
• Global markets are as bad -- or worse.  This is not an American phenomenon caused by our own reckless traders.  They are everywhere, possibly even in greater numbers "there" than "here".
• Oil broke through the $50 floor of resistance yesterday.  Five months ago -- a lifetime! -- it was nearly triple.  The pace and scope of its decline is as staggering as it is unprecedented. Commodities of all sorts are experiencing a similar fate.
• Home prices dropped 9% nationally in Q3.  Denver was down 11%, Cleveland metro down 12%, Chicago minus 13%, Miami off 17%, Las Vegas down 28%, and San Diego down 36%.  With "no bottom in sight" according to Standard & Poors.

So good job, Hank!  Your bailout didn't work.  Or if it did, things are not appreciably better than the freefall we otherwise would have experienced.  What's the difference between a 30% loss and 40% at this point?

Except $700 billion... or much more depending on your accounting method.

Instead, the bill was passed hurriedly under great duress.  Further, it created the false expectation that pain would be minimal and vanquished quickly.  In the public's mind, the problem got worse simply by virtue of the fact it didn't get better.  And it did get worse. So now that our government aided the financial sector, it means we need to extend a hand to other areas of the economy.

Well, the steel industry had been operating at 90% capacity as of mid-August.  Selling prices were at record highs.  Now that industry expects a 50% operating rate by December 1st, with a corresponding price drop.  No demand, no production, no orders to suppliers.  How about a little help for an otherwise healthy industry clearly impacted by meltdown instead of one (automotive) already distressed?

Or closer to home, me?  I didn't do anything wrong.  I bought a house within my means.  Got a 30-year mortgage with a boring 5-1/8% fixed rate.  Sure I'm still making payments on time. But how's about a little something to grease the wheels, help out with some credit card debt. And you know, Christmas is coming; my kid needs a GI Joe with the kung-fu grip.

Naturally, I'll pay that mortgage.  If I don't I lose the house -- no matter its depressed value.

But the credit cards?  I might let them slide.  And why not?  After all, how much is VISA/MasterCard/Discover/AmEx/Diners Club/et al going to get for that repossessed GI Joe?

I guess they'll be next off the jet.

A Wild & Crazy Guy

It's official:  Hitler had only one ball.  Somewhere Steve Martin is smiling...

Closed Minded Rednecks

Well isn't this one delicious?

Well, not for the human tragedy in the murder of a woman who apparently changed her mind about joining the KKK.  Nor for the fact the KKK exists and continues to attract new members. No, not that part.

It's this:

     "It's kind of impressive for a group with a pretty small

      IQ to be able to cleanse that site so well," (St. Tammany

      Sheriff Jack) Strain told reporters.

Hey, Sheriff!  Isn't that a little flippant considering, you know, a woman was killed and all?  Perhaps you could back that statement up. Be a little more specific or soften your comments a tad.

Whoops!  Just read on to the next paragraph:

      The group was discovered after (alleged killer Raymond

      "Chuck") Foster's son and another (Klan) member went

      to a local convenience store on Monday and asked the

      clerk how they could remove bloodstains from their

      clothes.

Sheriff, you have my sincerest apologies.  Don't forget to throw away the key.

PS  When are the sterilizations scheduled?

Open Minded Liberals

Once again, Buckley says:

     "Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing

      other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn

      there are other points of view."

Case in point the video linked here.  [Please endure the 15-second commercial at beginning.]

More irony in the article linked here.  Please note this particular church does not actively protest against or derogate gays.  Just holding firm to their beliefs.

So whose rights are being infringed here?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Buehler?

Willful Ignorance: the List

• The "blindly religious" who abhor challenges to their Faith, defending it without regard to inconvenient or contrary fact.
• Judgementally religious -- absolutely certain of God's will -- who scrutinize all that is wrong in other people's lives.
• Unwed teenage mothers who know all they need is their baby's love.
• Absentee sperm donors who confuse the ability to impregnate with fatherhood.
• Middle age black folks who think Obama will pay for their gas and rent.
• Middle age white folks who think Obama is a Muslim socialist.
• Fat white chicks and their skinny Puerto Rican boyfriends.     She:  "He's the only one who ever accepted me for who I am." He:  "She's everything I ever wanted in a woman... and more yo."
• Foreclosed mortgagees who still can't figure out why they couldn't afford the loan they obtained through a shady dealer, with no down-payment, little savings, insufficient income, and suspect documentation -- all at variable interest originated when rates were at historic lows.
• Tax cutters who ignore the fact money needs to be spent -- hence raised -- on roads, bridges, security, and the social programs they passive/aggressively demonize but refuse to cut.
• Tax spenders who ignore the fact that the public is pretty well maxed out paying for stuff they can only afford without excessive tax burdens.  And that programs such as counting bald eagles and subsidizing the wool industry aren't high on most people's priority lists.
• Gay activists demanding their lifestyle be accepted, approved, and consecrated by religions that are based in part on the tenet that homosexual activity is sinful.
• Ideologues forsaking their own humanity to deny the validity of two individuals' love for one another.
• Classic Rock DJ's who think the latest Eagles album counts as new music:  "It's a banner day at Z-98 folks!  We've got a new song from Nazareth coming up.  But first a greaaaaat tune off Dennis DeYoung's latest..."
• Anyone who doesn't turn the dial after hearing the above.
• Homophobic, misogynistic, racist, elitist bloggers who confuse intelligence with intellectualism and display no sense of irony; calling out the thorn in the eyes of others while ignoring the beam in their own.

More to come...

Jumbo Shrimp

A lot of folks believe it's a contradiction to be both conservative and intellectual.  Sadly, this sentiment is reflected in many of today's leading conservatives.  Sarah Palin's nomination sealed it.

It would be nice to have some smart people in the room.  Smart people are curious, like to study, and are good at constructing complex models to explain complex situations.  But I dare say we need a couple of idiots around as well.  They're very good at not understanding how complex models are designed to work.  Their shortcuts or paralysis due to lack of comprehension are very good at ruining the otherwise perfectly constructed model.

Most people aren't smart or dumb.  In fact, most people are average intelligence - though they (we) would like to think otherwise.  Above all, most people deal with complexity by living according to tried & true standards of behavior.  Call it a values system.

The genius of the Framers of the Constitution was that they designed a fairly simple system by which people may govern themselves.  The United States -- no matter how in need of top talent at all times -- is capable of surviving, indeed thriving, without brainiacs in charge.

If we had one really smart person running the show, what happens when he or she dies?  Or more likely with smart people, gets bored of running the show?  To whom does the country turn for supreme guidance of all that is good and informed?

The country requires neither a surplus of over-educated know-it-alls nor -- as is unfortunately the current chic everywhere -- the willfully ignorant.

Bottom Line:  As the world needs ditch diggers, so too does it need intellectuals.  It's important to recognize each has their own place along the continuum.  As do we all.

** This post subject to major revision due to the fact I spit it in about 2-1/2 minutes.  Guess I think I'm really smart... **

Meet the New Boss

The change, it had to come

We knew it all along

We were liberated from the fold, that's all

And the world looks just the same

And history ain't changed

'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

Phil's Head

Calling all the neighbors

Time to make amends

Whiskey floods the table

Aw, good friends 'til the end

They're making silly faces and it's tasting bittersweet

This is just the way of the world Joe said...

Anatomy of a Collapse

Two reasons for the Fall:

I.   Fundamental Unseriousness

     "The man who would be the oldest to embark on a

      first presidential term has chosen as his possible

      successor a person of negligible experience.  Any

      cook can run the state, said Lenin, who was wrong

      about that, too.

      America's gentle populists and other sentimental

      egalitarians postulate that wisdom is easily acquired

      and hence broadly diffused; therefore anyone with

      a good heart can deliver good government, which is

      whatever the public desires...

      John McCain's opponent is by far the least experi-

      enced person to receive a presidential nomination

      in the 75 years since the federal government became

      a comprehensively intrusive regulatory state and

      modern weaponry annihilated the protection the

      nation derived from time and distance.

      Which is why McCain's case for his candidacy

      could, until last Friday, be distilled into two words:

      Experience Matters."

       - George F. Will

         conservative author & baseball fan

         Sept 3rd, 2008

II.  Sept 23rd - 29th

      Sept 23rd:  Calls for immediate bailout plan to be

                       passed.  Emphasizes that it must be a 

                       "clean" bill, free of pork and add-ons.

                       Draft is 3 pages long.

                       Never considers whether any form of a

                       market-based solution, in whole or in

                       part, is viable.

      Sept 24th:  Suspends campaign and proposes the 

                       postponement of 1st presidential debate

                       in transparent attempt to cast Obama as

                       more interested in politics than allaying

                       public economic anxiety.

      Sept 26th:  Participates in debate even though a

                       bailout plan had collapsed in Congress,

                       undermining the entire reason he had

                       suspended his campaign.

      Sept 29th:  Votes for a 450+ page Senate Resolution

                       jam-packed with pork and add-ons.  Now

                       very associated with its creation in the

                       public's eye.

                          

                       Doubles down on mistakes by repeating

                       a bungled message from the previous

                       week:  "fundamentals of the US economy

                       are strong."

Let me get this straight.  We've had to endure 3 freaking years of this Presidential Election only to have it decided in 3 weeks?  Life in the crucible I guess.

No matter how you look at it, this cycle is a conservative's* nightmare: from the candidates to the wisdom of the crowd.  When given the choice, the nation will always take the young, paper tiger over the old, lunatic tiger.

So please stop with the ROBO-calls, both of you.  I've already made my choice of state:  Inebriation.

* Buckley, not Kristol

A Righteous Wind

watching now, watching now...

Snapshot into the Light

everywhere He goes is news

Sock it to Me

Curious.  I guess portraying violence against women is sometimes okay.  Very liberal indeed...

Barack O'Gabriel

You can blow out a candle

but you can't blow out a fire

Once the flame begins to catch

the wind will blow it higher

...and the eyes of the world are watching now, watching now

Under Construction

Trying to move this blog away from politics and the economy.  The subjects are too angry, too ubiquitous, too tired.  Under development:

 - Swimming's real weird:  It's the only exercise that gets harder as you get better.  First, you start to build muscle while burning fat.  Fat sucks but at least it floats, unlike muscle.  I've now been in the pool for 3 months after having never swum in my life aside from the purely recreational (read: floating with a cold beverage nearby).  I can hardly float anymore.  In fact, I have to swim pretty damned hard just to be able to breathe.  Breathing while swimming is also messed up.  Inhaling during the exertion, exhaling on the recovery is exactly the opposite of what you're supposed to do during exercise.  Of course, if you get that part wrong, you drown - good incentive to do it right...or wrong...whatever.

 - An ode to Entwhistle:  Revolutionary musician and quiet madman.  The bass guitar wasn't invented as a proper instrument until the 1950's.  Played it as a solo instrument, like a carvinal organ - with lead riffs, tonal fills, percussive drives, and chords.  All at the same time while also singing back-up vocals.  The only member of the Who with any formal musical training.  Entwhistle grew up playing the french horn -- there were no trumpets left in the post-war Acton School band room.  "If Keith Moon's death was inevitable, John's was so unnecessary."

 - Alcoholics can be quite functional:  Hell, some of the most effective people I've seen are in the bag (half, all, or somewhere along the continuum) most of the time.  At low doses, booze relaxes the mind and body.  Think "shot for courage".  And unlike swimming, drinking gets easier the better you get at it.  I don't necessarily recommend boozing, but I won't condemn it either. Lessin' of course you're driving through -- and I mean through -- a school, playground, home, church or liquor store.  City hall, prison, or a casino on the other hand...well, have at it son.

 - A compare/contrast on Pippy Longstocking and Pollyanna:  Polly's a kind-hearted optimist, Pippy a burger-swilling, steroid altered, musclebound psychopath.  Gotta get back to my roots. What say you, Beth?

 - Blogging beats working anytime.  Wish reading blogs were even half as good...

Declaring Insanity

Face it, everyone is insane.  At least from my perspective.  You, on the other hand, may view me as insane.  I'd argue that.  But it would be not-guilty-by-comparison as opposed to outright innocence.

Exhibit "A" is a middle-aged white man -- let's call him, uh, "Dave" -- who firmly believes:

a)  the US government orchestrated the 9/11 attacks on New York

     and Washington, DC.

b)  Israel - indeed, Zionists everywhere - orchestrated the US

     government's involvement in the above.

c)  fluoridated water is a means to suppress intelligence and

     increase passivity among the general public.

d)  Neo-nazi web lunatics are reliable sources for information

     of any kind.

Exhibit "B" is another middle-aged man, this time black -- codename "Howell" -- who firmly believes in....well, nothing at all.  Except that he is right in all situations.  All the time.  This person embodies the lyrics:

     You don't want my love

     you want satisfaction, satisfaction

     You don't need my love

     you just want another piece of the action

     You're crazy

Now junior Freudians, please don't think I'm some jilted lover of said ebony Adonis.  No, this is purely Platonic.  It means "you don't need my friendship, opinion, input on any matter."  Instead, you're just looking for your own feeling of superiority; a way of getting ahead on the back of anyone and everyone.

That's the kind of person who would go to a reunion of friends and sit in the parking lot, listening to the audio of a Star Trek (TOS) episode.

I declare "Shenanigans!"

Twice the Truth

"I do tell you that if the Democrats win, and have substantial majorities, Congress of the United States will be more bipartisan."

      - Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

        Speaker of the House of Representatives

        Oct 28th, 2008

"Ignorance is Strength"

      - Ministry of Truth

        April 4th, 1984

"Power is not a means; it is an end."

      - George...

Numero Uno

Now Sabres are Number 1.  From the hosers, no less!

Graaawwk, Polly wants a Cup!  I'll be collecting apologies too, Marky.

Sports & Weather

A very common -- and insufferable -- tactic of national sports announcers is to define a game's narrative.  While remaining supposedly neutral, commentators pick each team's strengths & weaknesses and how they will play out in the game.  The game that's yet to be actually played.

Funny things often happen as the contest progresses, however.  Quite often the teams buck conventional wisdom -- the good are proven bad, the bad are proven worse, the presumed defensive battle becomes an offensive shootout.

In football, halftime serves as the "reset period" for our proud analysts.  The opening minutes of the 3rd quarter either give opportunity to hold to the narrative or, clumsily & in ugly fashion, witness the network's finest cut and run.

I bring up this little parable in conjunction with two items crossing my virtual desk this afternoon.

The first is a commentary piece in Canada's National Post about stalled global warming and its likely explanations.

The second is a brief news item in England's Sunday Times on the comparative environmental merits of disposable diapers versus previously-thought-to-be-better washable nappies (that's British for diaper - worldly opinion here).

Both articles highlight the environmentalists' emotional investment in their quest to save the world -- not through rigorous discovery, but denial of heretical views and the adoption of that which is deemed worthy and good, regardless of facts.

Case in point is the Times' citation of a government report on impact to the environment from diapers.

You see, these good and just folks came in with the notion the washable nappy -- er, diaper is the obvious earth-friendly choice.  It turns out instead that disposables leave a smaller carbon footprint.  As any parent will tell you they're also simpler to use, making them highly popular. So everybody wins, right?

Unfortunately, no.  The report is to be "delayed" until "modifications" can be made.   Apparently, the public isn't to be trusted to learn a truth that undermines -- though by no means destroys -- the activist-ministry's cause.   That is, the truth should be suppressed because it doesn't agree with environmentalist dogma.  It's religulous, I tell ya!

These blind adherents are clearly wrong.  Just like the ESPN crew covering the Cleveland Browns presumed defeat to the New York Giants last week. Ditto the Fox guys watching the Rams dismantle the Cowboys yesterday.  True to form, both crews hit the reset button after halftime and altered their game view.

Our radical green activists feel no such compulsion.  Sadly, they fail to recognize this game is playing out for all to see.

And we will.

Incontinent

More required reading on the Global Economic Meltdown.  Of particular interest is the EU's criminal arrogance exacerbating the situation:

   "You could say the ECB also acted under the constraints

     of the age:  its rigid inflation mandate.  But I suspect that

     Bundesbank chief Axel Weber and German finance minister

     Peer Steinbruck were quite simply too arrogant to listen

     to anybody.

    "Mr. Steinbruck insisted that 'German banks are far less

     vulnerable than US banks' just days before the collapse of

     Hypo Real with €400bn (£311bn) of liabilities...

    "One can only guess what French President Nicholas Sarkozy

     has been saying to ECB chief Jean-Claude Trichet, but he

     must have warned in blunt terms that Europe's leaders would

     exercise their Maastricht powers to bring the bank to heel

     unless it slashed rates."

I still didn't get that apology, Klaus.  You're off the hook for now, Jean-Claude.  I never thought I'd say it, but "Good job, France!"

Skinny Frog

Dude, she used to be cutting edge.  Now she's just cut.  And scary.

Number 4

ESPN has the Buffalo Sabres ranked at number 4 in their first regular season edition of the NHL Power Rankings.  Where did that come from?

Oh yeah, it's because the Buffalo Sabres rock.  Goaltending.  Defense. Penalty killing.  Thomas "2-way" Vanek.  Daniel "the Destroyer" Paille. Grrrrr!

I demand an apology from everyone who has ever called me Pollyanna!  And Pippy Longstocking too!

Cleveland Rocks

Oh yeah!  That's my (quasi) hometown!  But those aren't ACORNs - they're chestnuts.  And she, errr, he can vote any way he wants.  Once only though, please.

Plumbing for Votes

A lot has been made of Barack Obama's encounter with an Ohio plumber last weekend.

Usually, you hear the 5-second soundbite where our presumed President states he wants to "spread the wealth around" for everyone's benefit.  But it's worthwhile to watch the entire exchange below.

Obama shows great patience, charm, and skill in handling this Joe Six-Pack's question.  He also expresses honesty in recognizing he's unlikely to get the plumber's vote.

Questions:

a)  As a matter sustainability -- if not fairness, which is apparently out the window -- should people who pay no tax receive refunds (ie. wealth transferred from those who do pay)?

b)  Will a Democratic Congress push (presumed) President Obama to pursue a profligate fiscal agenda in a toxic economic environment?

c)  How does this country afford net tax cuts while Federal Spending is perched to spike dramatically?

d)  Should the American public continue to be encouraged to go shopping for things we cannot afford?

Words of Wisdom

from William F. Buckley Jr:

     "Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing

       other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn

       that there are other points of view."

     - and -

     "I've spent my entire lifetime separating the Right from

      the kooks."

     - and -

     "Radical conservatives in this country have an interesting

      time of it, for when they are not being suppressed or

      mutilated by Liberals, they are being ignored or humiliated

      by a great many of those of the well-fed Right, whose

      ignorance and amorality have never been exaggerated for

      the same reason that one cannot exaggerate infinity."

Icy Hot

Wow, this Global Warming really frosts my chardonnay!  It moves at a glacial pace of course.  Just for the record, this heat has never been so cool!

Thank God for Stupid People!

I take consolation these people* probably won't vote anyway...

 * and by "these people" I mean stupid idiots who don't know when they're being manipulated.  Either way.

Freezing in the Heat

At this rate I could freeze to death waiting for Global Warming.  Or is it already the Day After Tomorrow?

Still just axin'...

Obamanomics

I don't buy Obama's economic plan.

He says he'll cut taxes for 95% of Americans - any one earning less than $250,000 / year.  Hey!  I'll take some of that!  After all, I earn less than a quarter-mil and my tax bill is still going to run well north of $15k this year.

But people whose tax bills are already ZERO will take some that too! That is, you get a refund on tax you did not pay.

Now it's one thing to eliminate the burden of paying tax for people struggling to get by.  But to give them public money?  From where does this money magically come?  Hikes on those making more than $250k and corporations -- generally an unsympathetic lot I admit (especially these days).  And you, if you paid any tax.

Now just so I get this straight, Obama will increase taxes on those who drive the economy in a time when the economy is in dire need of good drivers?  With a car.  And a tank of gas.  Did you ever get a job from a poor man?

By the way, 40% of filers pay no income tax.  That stacks the populist voter deck in Obama's favor. Of course Atlas may Shrug someday.  He's gotta be tired of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Rightfully so.

So let's call Obamanomics what it is:  Punishing Success?  Rewarding Failure?  Perhaps it's Redistributing Wealth?

Or simply Communist.  Right Ayn?

Not Now John

Sorry John.

I like McCain's position on taxes and foreign policy.  I just happen to like Barack Obama's demeanor and calm confidence better.

How many times did McCain not answer the question in debate no. 2 in favor of essentially selling people on the fact he's worked across the aisle to get things done?  That is, he's all mavericky and stuff.

You know who I didn't like last night?  Tom Brokaw.  So wedded to the format and time limits "you both agreed to" that he couldn't ditch those contrived rules when it was obvious both candidates had from the start.

At least Brokaw never associated with terrorists...

McCain v. Obama - Round II

Zzzzzz....huh?  Oh, it's over.  BO-RING.  Zzzzzz...

NBC Censors Itself

*** UPDATE 2 ***

NBC's putting it back up.  After editing out "People who should be Shot" caption from the corrupt, errr they edited out that phrase too, lenders who made a killing selling predatory loans then bundling the debt and selling it to Wachovia, among others.

Apparently, the lawyers were ready to pounce...

*** UPDATE 1 ***

This one's getting all sorts of conspiracists going.  Where's Brick?  Another link to the CENSORED skit here.

Too close to home???

***************

A few posts down ("Pullin' on the Sweater"), I highlighted the words "San Fran Nan" with a link to SNL's acidic takedown of Democratic Congressional leadership, idiotic mortgage borrowers, greedy financial manipulators, and George Soros.

For some reason, NBC took this skit off its own website.  Like it never happened.  Are we in Russia or something?

The skit -- available here -- is GREAT!  It cuts down everyone who played a role in the mortgage meltdown:

   Imbecile GWB?  Check.

   Partisan hack Pelosi?  Check.

   Craven Barney Frank?  Check.

   Insolvent Borrowers?  Check.

   Greedy Arbitrage Artists?  Check

   World Class Financial Manipulators?  Check.

While it's still available, I highly recommend watching.  Then ask yourself why NBC would censor its own biting social commentary?  Why?

Schadenfreude in Reverse

As I was saying, Francois and Klaus ought to look in their own kitchen before getting all up in mine.

Now get to work on some solutions, Idioten!

Castles in the Sand

From the "Ya can't take it with you" department...

Take Off...

...to the Great White North, eh?

It says here that Fairbanks, Alaska is off to the coldest Winter in 16 years.  Temps are 7-8 degrees below normal with twice the average snowfall.

I thought global warming would cure this!  Or is it just a natural part of the end-of-days kind of stuff?

Just axin' the question...

The Merry Barracuda

Take a look at this photo:

The caption read "Pit Bull".  Quite a remarkable shot for its seemless blend of extremes.

Palin's stance is forceful & aggressive. Her hand is clenched; she's literally squeezed the color out of it.  The veins in her neck & chest are popping.  She's crouched forward - a lioness poised for the kill. Yet her eyes are almost mirthful.  The sunny smile on her face conveys pure joy.

I'm astounded she's able to convey two totally divergent attitudes at once. Whatever you say of her policies, don't make the mistake of believing she's stupid.  GWB laughed that accusation all the way to the White House.

This chick is a political fembot.  Like the TX in Terminator 3.

Watch out for the flamethrower in her left hand!

Pullin' on the Sweater

If you want to destroy my sweater

Hold this thread as I walk away

Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked

Lying on the floor

I've come undone

    - Weezer

Class, your assignment is to first read:  World Markets Plunge on Crisis Fears.

Then compare:  "The USA is taking its hits now, but you people haven't even begun pulling on the sweater.  Europe's got the same toxic debt as here.  China is rapidly losing its (one way) trading partner.  Oil prices will follow demand downward hurting those sympathetic Middle Eastern sheiks and rabble rousers.  Third world nations won't be getting aid."  - Oct 1, 2008

Now answer:  Who was the brilliant & accomplished, no doubt Ivy-league educated, economist who predicted today's headline?  Yep, me. Except Clarkson is ECAC league and I was a C+ engineering student, currently living a B- life.

I bring this up not to toot my own horn so much as to ask why we're not hearing more about the causes, remedies, and ramifications (of, for, and from respectively) this meltdown.

Instead, we hear silence or BS from politicians and news media alike; fundamentally unserious people.  C',mon Phil!  You're just towing the "liberal media" line.  Sorry, this isn't about liberal vs. conservative.  This is honesty vs. deception.  And most of the people above are deceiving themselves first.

Case in point, instead of leveling with the public about dishonest borrowers and deceptive lenders, we get this tripe:

"[$700 billion] is a number that is staggering, but tells us only the costs of the Bush Administration's failed economic policies—policies built on budgetary recklessness, on an anything goes mentality, with no regulation, no supervision, and no discipline in the system.

"Democrats believe in the free market, which can and does create jobs, wealth, and capital, but left to its own devices it has created chaos."  ...so we opposed reform at every turn.

or this:

For years, Republicans warned of this danger and advocated reform of these government-sponsored enterprises. And for years such reforms were thwarted by legislators with deep political ties to the worst offenders, putting the companies' interests ahead of the interests of our country."   ...so we did nothing about it.

All it takes to understand the situation is a smart 5th grader and a set of dominoes.  The US economy has already started to melt.  But the rest of the world is coming with us for the ride. Europe, Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, all depend on American largesse and political cover for their own niggardly, dishonest, and self-serving behavior.  Now they'll depend on us figuring out a plan to follow.  Criticizing the US all the while. 

Oh, I forgot.  We've got GWB, San Fran Nan, Barney the gay Dinosaur, Sister Sarah, Katie Olbermann Limbaugh, and the rest.

Back to Wheezer:

Oh no

It go

It gone

Bye-bye

Who I

I think

I sink

And I die

NFL Picks - Week 5

I'll try to post 'em earlier next week.  Sorry, I don't do spreads - just straight up win or lose.  I was a disappointing 9-4 last week.  40 & 19 on the season.

Tennessee @ Baltimore

San Diego @ Miami

Chicago @ Detroit

Atlanta @ Green Bay

Kansas City @ Carolina

Seattle @ New York Giants

Washington @ Philadelphia

Indianapolis @ Houston

Buffalo @ Arizona

New England @ San Francisco

Cincinnati @ Dallas

Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville

Monday

Minnesota @ New Orleans (49 pts combined)

Lord Stanley's Revenge

Note:  This post is re-printed from an email dated 9/14/2007.  I changed the text a bit to reflect the real season is actually a week away (time travel's a bitch!).  Bound to get it right one of these years....

Friends,

You know, we could sit around all day debating things like Bihler's decades-long semi-psychotic break from reality; Chopra's homosexual pedarastic tendencies; Eddie's complete and fundamental lack of musical knowledge; Beth's apparent lack of taste in men; Smitty's principled commitment to, hmmm, well...err, I guess we'll have to get back to that one; and Rainus's plain ugliness.

But folks, I say we forget all those ugly little flaws.  Hockey season is upon us.  That's right!  One week to the (pre) real (!) season.  (Three weeks to the real thing.)  Predictions?  Prognostications?  Punditry?  Anyone?  Buehler?

I still owe 40 bucks for last year's playoff pool (the check's in the mail, Bethy).  Translation:  someone else should go first...

Fuck you all.  (Jennifer says that I just can't express platonic love in a healthy way.  I call her Oprah now).

 - Philbony

Ho-Lee Shit!

Required reading.  Beware.  It'll make you sick:  link.

We've given away the treasury, our privacy, and our livelihoods.  This law -- LAW! -- penalizes individuals and companies who played it smart, honest, and safe.

Consider, as an example, a mortgage lender that actually lent according to reasonable & prudent standards.  The Fed now has the ability to reduce a borrower's mortgage.  In sober times that's called undue seizure of private property.

It gives hucksters and creative accountants license to buy bad debt, declare bankruptcy, and be reimbursed by the Fed.  By law.  That's a loophole created in the 450-page travesty of legislation our politicians forced upon a nation under duress.  Scare tactics?  No, it's economic terrorism!

Why even try living honestly?  Seriously, why?

Ode from a forgotten Friend

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."

A fine birthday to you, Tito.

Sabre Rattling

Wake up, Maggie.  I think I've got something to say to you.  It's (past) late September and I really should be watching hockey.

The boys in blue & gold (okay, cornflower & maize) are taking shape, now pared down to 25 players.  That's two over the limit.  But it doesn't include the wounded Paul Gaustad (thumb) or Adam Mair (knee).

"This is the team we kind of expected it would be," says Ales Kotalik.

Coach Ruff's preseason plan was to evaluate talent from bottom to top.  Lately he's been bleeding off players like a Medieval surgeon.  With few exceptions, he knew what he already had on the main roster.  So motivate the kids and see what your future holds.

The Sabres came into training camp with nearly 60 players and rotated rosters nightly.  The first couple preseason games had half the team travel to Toronto with the other half go to Montreal.  Hell, they had six - SIX! - goaltenders.  Pretty much anyone following the club could tell you it'd end up being Miller & Lalime.  Lo! and behold, it is.

Ditto the 19-man blueline.  The only question there boils down to Paetsch, Weber or Sekera at the No. 7 slot.  Still, it was sure nice to allow the prospects like Gerbe, Kennedy, the Tylers (Ennis and Myers) et al to compete and dream a bit.  Great call up potentials there (except Stretch Myers who needs to gain another 100 lbs in the juniors).

So where does the final ax fall?  Buffalo needs to free up 4 roster spots -- two now, two later. Just remember:  there will be only 7 defensemen.  Here are the names on the bubble:

Forwards

Mathieu Darche (LW) - Career fill-in will be gone to Portland eventually.  Probably on track to player-coach.

Matt Ellis (LW) - So far a younger version of above.  Should play on the big squad as long as Goose and Mair are out.  Do I smell breakout season?

Andrew Peters (LW) - Enforcer and perpetual game night scratch.  On track to be replaced by Kaleta.  I miss Rob Ray.

Patrick Kaleta (RW) - Physicality disproportionate to his size.  Can a team's enforcer be only 5 foot-11 and 195 lbs?

Defense

Dennis Persson (D) - At 20 years old, Buffalo's 1st pick in 2006 will mature in Sweden awhile longer

Nathan Paetsch (D) - A big question mark!  Great 1st year in the bigs, considerably less passion and brains last year.  Would have to clear waivers before going to Portland.

Andrej Sekera (D) - Ruff loves this kid's potential - stick handling and offensive skill.  Call him Kalinin without the baggage.

Mike Weber (D) - Young (20), improving, and expendable.  Good mid-season call up.  Send us a postcard from Maine, kid.

----------

Parting Shots:  Slightly off topic, but I know you care.  Afinogenov will be Maximum this year.  It's a contract year and his girlfriend is a real champion.  Call it motivation through fear & embarrassment.

IMO this season is make-or-break for Timmy Connolly.  He's already CURSED with a soft melon and brittle knees, now he's starting to get fat.  Which one of his ancestors pissed off the hockey gods so much?  "We grant thee talent, speed and smarts.  But you shall NEVER play!"

Biden v. Palin - Fargo Edition

Biden:    I told ya.  We haven't had any vehicles go missing.

Palin:    Okay.  But are ya sure?  'Cause I mean, how do ya know?  Do you do a count, or what kind of routine do ya have here?

Biden:    Ma'am, I answered your question!

Palin:    I'm sorry, sir?

Biden:    Well, heck, if you wanna play games here.  I'm workin' with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I'll do a damned lot count!

Palin:    Sir?  Right now?

Biden:    Sure, right now!  You're darned tootin'!

Gwen Ifill:    There's a minimum charge of four dollars.  Long term parking charges by the day.

Biden:    I guess you think you're...you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid fuckin' uniform, huh buddy?  King clip-on tie there, big fuckin' man, huh?  You know these are the limits of your life, man.  The rule of your little fuckin' gate here.  Here's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit!

Palin:    Mind if I sit down?  I'm carrying quite a load here.  (smiling) Two more months...

Biden:    Oh, for Chris'sakes here!

Palin:    So Joe, should we get together another time?

Biden:    No!  [sobs]... I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have done this.  I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have... I thought we'd have a really terrific time.

Palin:    It's okay, Joe.

Biden:    You were such a super lady... and I'm, I'm so lonely.  [sobs]

Palin:    Oh for Pete's sake, he's fleeing the interview!  He's fleeing the interview!

Ifill:    You're a smooth smooth, you know.

Palin:    You betcha!  I'm doing really super here, thanks.

______

(After the debate, the families join the candidates on stage.  Todd Palin smiles at his wife, congratulates her, and keeps oddly smiling.)

Todd:     They announced it.

Sarah:    They announced it?

Todd:     Yeah.

Sarah:    So?

Todd:     Three-cent stamp.

Sarah:    Your mallard?

Todd:     Yeah.

Sarah:    Oh, that's terrific!

Todd:     It's just a three-cent stamp.

Sarah:    It's terrific.

Todd:     Hautman's blue-winged teal got the 29-cent.  People don't much use the three-cent.

Sarah:    Oh, for Pete's sake.  Of course they do.  Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps.

Todd:     I love ya, Margie.

Sarah:    I love you, Norm.

Biden v. Palin

Interesting debate tonight.  And by "interesting debate" I mean it didn't put me to sleep.  A few points I found striking:

a)  It took exactly 21 minutes for Sarah Palin to flip that lock of hair away from her eyelid.

b)  Joe Biden was calm, confident, and conversant about the facts.

c)  Women hate men who are calm, confident, and conversant about facts when debating another woman.

d)  Palin is as perky as Tina Fey portrays.

e)  Biden didn't embarrass himself with any of the gaffes he's been prone to lately (FDR appearing on TV as President when the stock market crashed in 1929).

f)  Palin didn't embarrass herself with deer-in-the-headlights moments as with Katie Couric.

More on the way, but my laptop battery's about to go dead.

Palintology

Quick!

1)  Is the Earth 6,000 years old?

2)  Has there been more than one Supreme Court decision?

3)  Has John McCain accomplished one specific thing in his 28 year public career?

4)  Is dear Sister Sarah really Tina Fey in disguise?

I personally believe the answers to the above are obvious, though not as much as you think to #4.  She's really Caitlin Upton.  Can't wait for her answers tonight about maps, South Africa, the Iraq, and Asian countries.  Everywhere like such as.

So we can build up our future.  For us.

 - US Americans for Palin

Wool?!?

Dearest Lady Guinevere,

Gatherest thou the wool of your finest sheep and spinnest me I beg a mere swatch of cloth for I to take unto battle!

For our good and faire King shall slaughter his kingdom's best oxen upon which we shall sup! And thereafter, I bid thee to save all your reciepts so as to declare the proper deductions and subsidies in your 2008 tax return.  Tho the Good King's treasure has been wontonly squandered, he gladly giveth over to you the spoilt remains of all that has been picked over. For the rest shall be plundered by corporate raiders; bondsman of the Orient I say.

I remain yours forever, glad to have sacrificed all I hath earnethed in humble tribute to that which never could have been sought in any faire or just land before or since,

 - Babbitt

The Road leads where it's Led

Well the European chickens are coming home to roost:  France seeks $500 Billion Bailout for European Banks.  I'm sorry, Jean-Pierre.  I must have missed your apology for mocking the USA's fiscal morass last week.  Sie auch, Klaus.  Dum Arsch!

Meanwhile, the US Senate has started the process to simultaneously buy us off and sell us out. $200 million for Puerto Rican rum producers.  $480 million for movie & TV producers. $109 million for NASCAR race tracks.  What's another $200,000 for wooden practice arrow manufacturers?  And why not another few million for the wool trust fund?  Wool?!?

Hey, all this only adds another $100 billion to the package.  Besides they threw in a couple mental health care provisions.  We'll need it.

Pass the rum!

[Full Senate text here.  At 451 pages of dense legalese, I'm still reading the introduction.]

More Busting on West Virginia

It's coming up on West Virginia's favorite holiday.  Halloween.  It's when they all get to Pump Kin.

da-da-duh...

West Virginia Sushi

For no good reason, there are a lot of sushi bars in the Mountaineer State.

For every good reason, I wouldn't eat at any of 'em.

A Step in the Right Direction

Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the 0:23 mark of the upper video linked here.

The Buffalo Sabres appear to be officially gravitating back to a charging bison over two crossed swords.  If it's at center ice today, it's there for the whole season.  This dovetails with the unveiling of the "new" third jersey.  Classic.  And classy!

Season starts Fri - Oct 10th @ 7:30 PM (ET) when BUF hosts the Canadiens de Montreal.

Away Banana Slugs.  Let's Go Buffalo!

Fallout from the Blast

Now it's the day after tomorrow.  The "intelligent" consensus is Congress will eventually get an economic deal done.  I'm confident too they'll come together in the end to sell out the American people.  After all, ours are the best politicians money can buy.

That notion greatly comforts the bourses*, having mostly rebounded after Monday's freefall. But watch out on Main Street.  Industrial production ground to a halt over the last week.  Zip Zero.  Nada.  If you produce steel, cars, machinery, or the like your customers canceled their orders last week.  You in turn canceled orders with your suppliers this week.  Next week it moves up the supply chain.  Bye-bye Christmas bonus.  If you're still employed.

I don't like this bailout plan.  It sickens me -- as you can read two items below -- to the core that reckless spenders, borrowers, and hucksters get made whole.  Why not do it all over again?

However, the current state of affairs means no credit.  No credit means no new buildings, cars, cranes, planes, forklifts, elevators, plumbing, couches, carpet, clothes, and all the other crap we charge.  Americans consume.  Americans borrow to consume.  That's the way it is.

And we pay the monthly installment with wages from our jobs.  Are you feeling pretty saucy because your job isn't in manufacturing or construction?  Don't be.  Folks with jobs order meals at restaurants, buy earrings from the Piercing Pagoda, get their nails done, splurge on strudel, go to football games, take vacations, make sure their cars are insured, and all that other optional fun stuff.

Unemployed people don't.

So, good job Wall Street!  You've created an economic Frankenstein now running roughshod over the country.  And congratulations Congress!  You've shrunk in response to the greatest challenge any of you arrogant fat cats will ever face.  Right on Hanky Paulson!  You told us to give you a $700 billion check and just trust you to do the right thing.

Oh, and the rest of the world.  Don't get smug.  The USA is taking its hits now, but you people haven't even begun pulling on the sweater.  Europe's got the same toxic debt as here.  China is rapidly losing its (one way) trading partner.  Oil prices will follow demand downward hurting those sympathetic Middle Eastern sheiks and rabble rousers.  Third world nations won't be getting aid.

Anybody own a yurt compound?

* Bourse = Stock Market.  I used the more worldly term to ingratiate myself with the Nobel literary committee.  Apparently, US writers are too insular:  link