You're kidding, right?

Just a few stories today to let you know it's okay. You're not crazy, it's the rest of the world.

First up: "PETA wishes Obama hadn't swatted that fly" from the AP.

Now when it comes to, say, oh I don't know, flushing puppies down toilets I stand haunch to haunch with PETA. And I'm certainly uncomfortable with animal testing. Though that seeming cruelty needs to be balanced against benefits to humans (yeah, I'm a bigoted humanist).

I actually find the PETA/KFC debate downright amusing: While people shouldn't just whale on chickens for fun, let's be real. They're chickens. That we're gonna kill. To eat. With hot sauce.

And we'll be swattin' the flies to keep 'em away from our meal.

Next, "Gold sold like chocolate from German vending machines". So let me get this straight, you can conveniently get a 1-gram "wafer" of gold for 30 Euros to take home to the kids as a great gift or just carry around as a great thing to have in your pocket during uncertain times? There's a lot of "greatness" in that story.

Let's concentrate on the math instead. Gold trades for ~$900 / oz and 1 Euro is worth about $1.40 and there's 28 grams to the ounce. That's a $275 / oz premium from the vending machine.

I'd rather get the kids a Toblerone bar from the vending machine. Or better yet, from the Duty-Free Store. Could get a bottle of scotch for myself too.

Finally, "Mom fights off Cougar, saves daughter". Listen closely. Old, hot women on the prowl shouldn't mess with a mother's kid. At least that girl didn't go to cycling class at the gym. It's full of spinners.

Tasting Day

So the Dortmunder Export was in bottles for exactly 2 weeks last night. A Friday night. Hmm, 2 weeks. You know, it takes exactly 2 weeks to fully carbonate beer after bottling. What should I do? What...should...I...do?

I think you know what I did. Oh yes. I did. And I liked doing it.

Let's just say it was tasty -- with a fine, steady effervescence. Not much head retention on the first try. But by the third bottle I learned it was okay to let it slosh in the glass while still pouring carefully enough to keep the sediment in the bottle. After that it, I got a nice creamy foam similar to a good German Pils.

You'll like it too.

And if you don't, well screw ya then. I got mine.

P.S. The second batch (the Ruination clone) is going into bottles today. Just finished sterilizing everything. Will have a case of each for the July 3rd tasting party. Plus the 18 IPA's already at Chopes' house.

P.P.S. Rainus - bring scotch.

And now for something completely different...

...back to politics and the economy. Interesting headlines of late. U.S. Auto Industry Bailouts, Right Turn in EU Elections, Air France meets Atlantic off Brazil, North Korean nukes, lions and tigers and bear-markets oh my!

Economically, I can't help but think the world in general, and the USA in particular, are going to get a high-velocity lesson in economics. Someone recently said, when you ignore facts too long then life assigns you a new negotiating partner: reality.

That is happening with the auto bailouts, where for decades the Big Three and UAW ignored facts -- global competition, unsustainably high wages & legacy costs, mediocre product quality, over-reliance on gas guzzler trucks & SUV's, ad infinitum.

So now Chrysler files for bankruptcy and is to be sold to Fiat. Fiat. Really?

I find it hard to believe Fiat is in any better condition than Chrysler. Well, at least as a car company. Chrysler -- a marginal company to begin with -- was bought by Daimler several years ago, ignored & neglected, then promptly dumped to a private equity firm intent on milking the assets dry while hoping to sell them to GM. A scenario so improbably ludicrous as this actually makes Italian management practices glow by comparison.

Besides, the Italian government still subsidizes Fiat. So the US dumps its non-performing asset on another country's taxpayer. Within a few years, we'll buy it all back at half the price to help Italy out of its own economic hell.

At least we still have the rule of law. You know, the one that says government shall not seize or coerce the sale of privately held property. Except of course when private property owners are a bunch of unsympathetic (evil!) bondholders insisting on their currently unpopular contractual rights to that property. How does this economy lift itself back to prosperity when no one is allowed to make a profit?

Oh, and those unsympathetic bondholders happen to include quite a few sympathetic pensioners and retirees. Does that change the picture? Should it?

Meanwhile, much of the EU had parliamentary elections over the weekend. While the USA turns leftward, Europe marches to the right. Conservatives picked up substantial coalition wins in Germany, France and England.

This is partly due to corruption in the English liberal labour party. Ahh, corruption! It's not just a Republican disease; just for anyone & everyone who's been in power for too long.

However, the main cause is the economy. Folks seem to intuitively understand that credit crises created by excessive spending and debt should not be solved by MORE spending and debt.

What's the first rule when you find you've dug yourself into a hole? Stop digging.

Unfortunately, while not solely a liberal trait -- as clearly demonstrated by the Bush administration -- spending & debt are popular tools of the Left. Conservatives will rise again, me hearties. With eyeshades and adding machines at the ready.

Oh don't worry libs. The Dems will be back in charge after a couple years of rightward frenzy. See, the pendulum (wrecking ball?) swings ever more wild.

The only real solution, I'm afraid, is balance and perspective (quoth Sonia, "Empathy?") -- something quite foreign to our schizophrenic American way.

But then, with balance and perspective, things like plane crashes over radar-less portions of the Atlantic Ocean won't be instantly suspected as nefarious. There is a certain segment -- larger than you'd like to believe -- that believes:

a) Holes in radar coverage are intentionally maintained by the cryptic, power elite

b) Computer glitches are covertly written into flight computers to cause unexplainable crashes

c) Unexplained catastrophes are exploited by the shadow-kings to break down established society to be replaced by a new world order.

d) Antipsychotic medication prescribed by a certified medical doctor should not be taken.

And now you know why I've started making beer.

Paul Harvey....Good Day!

IPA - Transfer Day

Today was transfer day at Philbony's Place. Batch #2 is now in the secondary fermenter. Siphoning went without a hitch. Clean, sanitary, very clear. Got a 1.025 gravity measurement - a tad high perhaps, but right on track.

But the yield is waaaay low. Out of a 5-gallon start, I ended up with only 4-1/4 gallons in the secondary.

This is almost entirely due to all the sediment carried over from the boil pot. No real surprise there. This beer had 5 hop additions and started with 15.5 pounds of grain. That, plus I haven't really gotten a good feel for letting sediment settle out in the boil kettle and/or filtering during transfer to the primary fermenter. Still, it's more than the first batch, so I'm getting better at this! Live and learn.

This beer tastes good. Sharp hoppy flavor, that allegedly will balance with strengthening malt character during bottle conditioning. That's supposed to take a month and I won't bottle for another week or more. So you eager patriotic beavers will have to endure a good, but not yet great beer. Ahh, life and the compromises we're forced to make.

Photos for posterity:

Prepping for transfer (note heavy layer of sediment on bottom and ring of kraeusen around the top of the liquid)

Transfer begins (No aeration!)

Complete!

Yuck

Back to the lager (basement)

A Sample

Philbony's Brewery - Part II

Got a bee in my bonnet late Saturday. Decided to brew a new batch now that the first one is bottled. Started at 7 PM Saturday night and finished around 2 AM. Perfect evening for a night brew - cool, calm, clear. Held a much tighter temperature range on this batch.

BTW: Jake is an excellent brewer's apprentice. He stayed up 'til it was all done: opening doors, fetching water, prepping the hops, manning the hose, and holding the lid, funnel & various accoutrements. Good worker that one. He'll be the most popular 19-year old in his dorm if he keeps this up.

This is an Imperial Pale Ale, reputedly a clone of Stone's Ruination. It is BIG (15.5 lbs of grain) and HOPPY (5 hop additions). It should be pretty ruinous as well since the OG is supposed to be 1.084 (which means alcohol content could be as high as 8%).

I say "supposed OG" because once again I screwed up the gravity measurement. During the first batch I dropped the hydrometer and it shattered on the hardwood floor. This time, after buying a new hydrometer, I forgot to get a sample until the boil kettle was near empty. By that point there was more trub (sediment) than beer.

Anyway, I got five full gallons in the primary. And it is absolutely teeming with life! The airlock is bubbling every second. There's a thickening kraeusen (foam) on top. The beer is full of eddies and currents; muddy like the Nile during rainy season. Except I cleaned and sanitized like a fiend.

A new video below, hopefully giving additional insight and stoking the taste buds: