You're kidding, right?

Just a few stories today to let you know it's okay. You're not crazy, it's the rest of the world.

First up: "PETA wishes Obama hadn't swatted that fly" from the AP.

Now when it comes to, say, oh I don't know, flushing puppies down toilets I stand haunch to haunch with PETA. And I'm certainly uncomfortable with animal testing. Though that seeming cruelty needs to be balanced against benefits to humans (yeah, I'm a bigoted humanist).

I actually find the PETA/KFC debate downright amusing: While people shouldn't just whale on chickens for fun, let's be real. They're chickens. That we're gonna kill. To eat. With hot sauce.

And we'll be swattin' the flies to keep 'em away from our meal.

Next, "Gold sold like chocolate from German vending machines". So let me get this straight, you can conveniently get a 1-gram "wafer" of gold for 30 Euros to take home to the kids as a great gift or just carry around as a great thing to have in your pocket during uncertain times? There's a lot of "greatness" in that story.

Let's concentrate on the math instead. Gold trades for ~$900 / oz and 1 Euro is worth about $1.40 and there's 28 grams to the ounce. That's a $275 / oz premium from the vending machine.

I'd rather get the kids a Toblerone bar from the vending machine. Or better yet, from the Duty-Free Store. Could get a bottle of scotch for myself too.

Finally, "Mom fights off Cougar, saves daughter". Listen closely. Old, hot women on the prowl shouldn't mess with a mother's kid. At least that girl didn't go to cycling class at the gym. It's full of spinners.