Friday. Heathrow to Atlanta. Middle seat. Naturally.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Uh, Never Mind...
...Sorry for the inconvenience, expense, and upheaval. We weren't wrong, mind you. But everything is just fine.
UK authorities had closed airspace because it had been absolutely, positively determined that no amount of volcanic ash is safe to fly through. Concentrations above most of England peaked at 200 milligrams / cubic meter. They are currently well under 100.
British Airways and other airlines that sent up test flights (without passengers, just pilots & engineers) found no damage to any of their planes. The UK government has now released standards that say it is permissible to fly through ash concentrations up to 2,000 milligrams / cubic meter.
So everything was alright all along.
-----------
Seen last night on BBC (interview with UK Transport Minister):
TV presenter: Why were standards set at absolute zero up until this morning?
Minister: Because that's what the deeply studied mathematical models told us.
TV presenter: But now there is real-world, empirical evidence that prove some ash is okay?
Minister: That's what the airlines and aircraft manufacturers have suggested.
TV presenter: But you now have a standard more than zero and far greater than what's currently in the air.
Minister: Yes, well we've studied the results of their test flights and agree it can be done.
TV presenter: You say the models had been deeply studied for years...
Minister: Yes, deeply studied. We had considered the scenario for many years.
TV presenter: ...then why had no one thought to run a jet engine for several thousand hours on the ground while blowing volcanic ash at it.
Minister: Well that would be a very expensive test.
TV presenter: Certainly not the 1.1 billion pounds lost to the economy in the last week?
Minister: ....crickets chirping....
Gotcha journalism isn't very objectionable when the interviewee can't even figure out he's been gotten. Nor especially when the interviewer doesn't really intend to get anyone. Just asks the next logical question.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Scenarios
Okay, here's the situation: Tuesday flights were predictably cancelled yesterday from Heathrow. Delta re-booked me for Saturday. The agent initially said he had space for Friday but when he tried to confirm, all he uttered was, "Oh dear." Friday vanished in the blink of an eye.
So it's Saturday. By way of Amsterdam. Amsterdam, Holland. Now, I know what you're thinking. And if you're not thinking what I think you should be thinking, you will soon. But first, some additional background.
The UK air traffic control authority (NATS) has been by far the most cautious of anyone in this volcanic eruption. Eurocontrol - the Continent's analogue to the FAA - has been easing restrictions both due to dissipation of the ash cloud AND petitions from the airlines. There is much criticism that both agencies have overreacted to the situation.
British Airways, Lufthansa, Air France, and KLM have all put up test flights -- at multiple altitudes for prolonged periods directly through ash fields -- and have reported no danger and no damage to equipment. BA & KLM even sent their CEO's along for the ride in their very first runs.
Moreover, it has been noted that world standards are much looser than Europe, though not considered less safe. For instance, if this had occurred in the USA there would have likely been initial delays/cancellations/closures. But, operations would have resumed within hours to a couple days at most.
So it brings me to considering the potential scenarios. Saturday is a long way off in this scheme of things. Much could change in the meantime. The situation is very fluid. We are currently seeing Europe open and spot service in the northern UK. The South -- including Heathrow -- remains closed officially until at least 1900 tonight. And now NATS is backtracking on some of these re-openings.
Let it be known: I am totally down with flying home safely. And I am not entirely comfortable with notion of loading into a plane over the North Atlantic with nothing but abrasive particulate above and icebergs below. Moreover, KLM is not a paragon of patience in the face of delays due to natural phenomenon. (Note: I would be flying on KLM, Delta's air partner).
But, this could last indefinitely. See how the ash cloud in the maps below is ever present, even spreading. When the Snapshot was taken, there were still no transatlantic flights operating north of Spain (which, by the way is absolutely jammed with travelers like myself seeing it as the only operating alternative).
Even under the most ideal flight plan you have to fly through an ash zone before assuming a southern route. Assuming they don't just say "We're fine. The northern corridor is faster, cheaper to operate in the thinner air & shorter polar route." I am completely unsold on the virtue of companies losing millions of dollars per day.
So now, the scenarios. All include the assumption the volcano keeps erupting and winds don't change significantly so as to disperse the cloud.
a) Stay and wait. By Saturday, UK airspace may be deemed safe enough to allow take offs.
Advantages: No additional chaos (packing/unpacking/
hauling baggage/travel), good facilities & local transportation,
London rocks.
Disadvantages: UK airspace may not re-open. Still have
connection in Amsterdam (don't like all those up & downs).
Boredom. Frustration. Festering.
b) Train to Amsterdam. Negotiate with Delta to drop the Heathrow-to-Amsterdam segment and just get me home on Saturday with the rest of the itinerary. Stay in hotel at or near Schiphol Airport (AMS).
Advantages: Off the Island. Better (though not guaranteed)
probability of flying from the Continent. LEGAL DOPE!!!!
Disadvantages: Still no guarantee flights will operate.
Unsure if Delta is willing to work with me (but you gotta believe
I'd be helping 'em, right?). Still have ash zone to fly through.
No current hotel availability (though that's gotta change as
flights resume). Upheaval. Expense.
c) Elsewhere on Continent. Negotiate with Delta to find an alternate airport in Spain, Italy, Southern France, Greece, etc. Hell, I'm considering Tangier and Cairo at this point!
Advantages: No longer locked on an island. Far more airports
to choose from. The ability to view activity as action.
Disadvantages: Major uncertainty about hotel, train, and
rental car availability. All airports are backlogged - might
turn out to be an out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire situation.
MAJOR EXPENSE.
At this point, I'm leaning toward option B, but won't likely be able to mobilize until tomorrow or Thursday at the earliest. Will not go without a confirmation from the airline that this is kosher and a confirmed hotel room reachable to the AMS airport.
Then, and only then, will I relax with a fat spliff. And a Stella. And this ashtray...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Happiness is a Warm Gun...
...Bang bang, shoot shoot...
Warhol at the Tate (that's floor to ceiling - not 4 ft tall pylons on floor)
Friday, April 16, 2010
'til Tuesday
Hush hush
keep it down down
volcanic ash carries
And I'm still stranded...'til Tuesday. The worst part is my camera battery is dead. So no more pictures...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Atlas Shrugs Evermore
I recommend clicking the play button, then reading the article in a separate window. Perspective does us all a bit of good...
F*&k!
Airport HELL today.
I spent 3 hours just trying to check in for my flight out of Heathrow. Delta Airlines' computer system apparently had a major melt-down and couldn't verify the security screening information customers were providing. Therefore, no boarding passes could be issued. Quoth I, "But that's what you do."
Concurrently, a volcano exploded under a glacier in Iceland this morning. It's cast an ash cloud progressively further over Ireland, Scotland, northern England, the Midlands, and finally the South. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8621407.stm
Because of Delta's stupidity, our 9:15 AM flight didn't begin boarding until 10:45, though everyone knew to get situated and seated quick. LHR had been announced to close at 12 noon. They quite literally saw it coming.
Yet when noon came, were still sitting at the gate; alternatively being told the flight was cancelled, no wait! the flight might go, oh so sorry we are indeed cancelled. Which also meant everyone on board was the absolute last of the entire grounded UK flying population to be able to scramble for a hotel room. All booked.
Look, I've loved this trip. And I further acknowledge a volcanic eruption is beyond Delta's ability to control or predict (although I counter we never should have been so late as to become cancelled). But this morning I was very ready to get home, play with the kids, watch some playoff hockey, chill American-style.
Instead, I am booked at the Quality Hotel / Slough (pronounced like "Ow! This f$cking situation hurts my f*cking head"). Until Saturday! At nearly 200 bucks a night! Plus tax. Including -- but not limited to -- 15% VAT. Oh well, better get used to that. It's coming to the US soon. (Man I am pissed. Even gratuitously worked in a way to trash Obama because of Delta's incompetence and a freakin' volcanic eruption.)
And quality is exactly what it's not.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Breakfast & Bed & Counting Sheep
The Full English breakfast...
...at the Kings Head Hotel
...while the sheep remain inside their pen across the road.
Old Weathertop
Climbin' up on Solisbury Hill
I could see the city lights
Wind was blowin
Time stood still
A bunch of hobbits started duking it out with a bunch of wraiths
It's actually called Roseberry Topping, located not in the Shire but a shire -- North Yorkshire to be precise. But it does remind me either of something out of the Lord of the Rings or a Led Zepplin album cover, which is pretty much the same thing. To top it off, the sign at the bottom says the hill was sacred to Odin, Norse god of war.
Anyway, I got into England on Sunday, went for a little hike up a very steep hill (320 meters from base). Business thru Wednesday. Driving is a trip. I've warned everyone I meet to stay off the roads this week. That whole left side thing with roundabouts everywhere. With a stick to boot!
Good thing I don't have to drive up any hills though. Right Mucous?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Flakes
Well my toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon
The plumber he said, "Never flush a tampoon."
This great information cost me half a week's pay
and the toilet blew up later on the next day.
- Frank
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