Janet Reno, err, Napolitano has issued clarification of her ridiculous weekend statement that the "system worked" during the Great Northwest Airlines Underwear Bomb Attempt.
This of course comes in light of facts like Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab of Nigeria was on a terrorist watch list, yet not on a no-fly list. Terribly sorry for the racial/ethnic insensitivity you are about to read. However, anyone with a name and country of origin such as Umar's should be subject to immediate and invasive scrutiny.
But we've also been treated to uncorroborated reports that the, uh, "suspect" had paid cash, checked no luggage, been aided by an airline employee through security, that another passenger 20 rows back had filmed the entire flight, and that al Qaeda practices methods to evade advanced detection techniques.
Naturally, the only rational response is to........ invade the privacy of, increase the hassle to, and maximize confusion among the 99.999% of innocent flyers worldwide, particularly infants and the elderly. Seriously.
Imagine you're a 74 year-old guy with a bum prostate who's been fed only salty peanuts and several half-cans of diet Coke during the first 4 hours of your cross-continental flight. On a very good day you're capable of squirting a couple ounces at a time, usually every 10 to 15 minutes. Now, you've gotta hold that for the entire last hour of your flight while strapped in between two fat people and jostled in heavy turbulance?
Or what about the 2-year old who sucked down 20 sippy cups worth of juice, water, and ginger ale in that same span? Now she's gotta pee like Sea Biscuit or puke over an entire 3-row quadrant.
So now the calls are coming loud from hard-ass security types, well-connected scanner manufacturers, and politicians looking for cover alike: INSTALL FULL-BODY SCREENERS EVERYWHERE IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!
Sorry, I'm not sold. As Dr. B commented in the post below, we're looking for folks of a "certain type". They're not all that hard to find. Especially when their own prominent & wealthy fathers call their home government and the US freaking Embassy -- several times! -- to express grave concern about their son's increasing radicalism.
In the words of George Clooney's "Up in the Air" character when charged with being racist: "I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."
Oh, by the way, we have an exclusive image of Dr. B crossing security at Edmonton Airport:
"Life is a waterfall
we drink from the river,
then we turn around and put up our walls..."
2 comments:
Hey, how did you get that? Anyway, the thing doesn't work, or else it would have shown the cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil that I had inside my shorts.
Janet gave you a pass....
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