Wool?!?

Dearest Lady Guinevere,

Gatherest thou the wool of your finest sheep and spinnest me I beg a mere swatch of cloth for I to take unto battle!

For our good and faire King shall slaughter his kingdom's best oxen upon which we shall sup! And thereafter, I bid thee to save all your reciepts so as to declare the proper deductions and subsidies in your 2008 tax return.  Tho the Good King's treasure has been wontonly squandered, he gladly giveth over to you the spoilt remains of all that has been picked over. For the rest shall be plundered by corporate raiders; bondsman of the Orient I say.

I remain yours forever, glad to have sacrificed all I hath earnethed in humble tribute to that which never could have been sought in any faire or just land before or since,

 - Babbitt